love.pain.life.faith.

Could I be any luckier?

2010-06-22T14:07:00.000-07:00

Matt and I were blessed to celebrate our Two Year Wedding Anniversary yesterday and I can honestly say that being married to such a wonderful man has been a piece of cake!

Every year Matt and I give each other cards and I write him words that are from my heart and I believe to be very sweet and wonderful, until I read his poetic, a million times more eloquent words in my card. Although I do not believe that it is in any way a competition, I am just a little jealous of his skills with a pen. This year Matt out-did himself and just wrote me a beautiful poem in my card. Once again I am so lucky to be married to such a gentle and loving man, here is what my card said:

To the one who has been there through my fights and my follies. Who looks as my weakness and sees my potential. To the one who chooses to love me every single day, who stares into my eyes and needs no words to say. My heart belong to you.

To the one who holds me close when I deserve to be far away, who takes the time to break armor when that's just what I need. Penetrating through to my very soul. My heart belongs to you.

To the one who walks beside me on this blood-pumping adventure, who holds my hand and takes my heart to heights I didn't know could be achieved. My heart belongs to you.

Through all the elements the world can throw, my heart belongs to you.

Through long days and distant roads, my heart belongs to you...

My heart belongs to you...

My first pie!

2009-07-25T11:34:00.000-07:00

I am not big into baking (mainly because I am not very good at it), I just don't really have the patience for it. I always skip steps or don't read all the directions thoroughly enough and wind up messing something up! But I have been promising Matt that I would make him an apple pie for about a month now, so I finally gave in. I am not going to lie it turned out delicious and I am pretty proud of myself! So here is a picture of my yummy homemade apple pie!

One Year Anniversary!

2009-07-25T11:16:00.000-07:00

Can you believe it has already been a year that Matt and I have been married!? Time just flew by! For our anniversary we decided to go away for the weekend to Palm Springs. It was really nice to be able to get away and just relax and enjoy each others company. We were so exhausted from our past semesters and busy schedules that we did a lot of laying by the pool and napping. But we did get to go to this awesome restaurant on our anniversary. It was perfect. Super romantic and elegant. There was a piano player who played the whole time we were there and they even gave us a complimentary dessert and dessert liquor since it was our anniversary. And just in case you don't notice that is my wedding dress that I am wearing in the picture. I had it hemmed to be knee length and am going to wear it every year on our anniversary (as long as it fits!).

Yes we did bring the top layer of our cake with us!

Hollywood Bowl Concert!

2009-07-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

Matt and I have created a list of things we want to do before we eventually move out of California. One of the items on the list was attend a concert at the Hollywood Bowl. We found out one of our favorite bands Death Cab for Cutie was playing there with the LA Philharmonics so we got some tickets (not very good ones I might add). The concert was amazing. Having the LA Philharmonics play along with the band was just incredible. Plus they ended with a beatiful fireworks show that timed to go along with the music. Also, at the Hollywood Bowl you can bring a picnic to the concert, so we decided to be classy and brought cheese, bread, meats, grapes, chocolate, and of course a bottle of wine. It was great to be able to picnic while listening to great music. Here are some pictures from that event.

Punch Bowls Camping Trip!

2009-07-25T10:34:00.000-07:00

About a month ago Matt and I took my nephew camping in Ojai at a place called the Punch Bowls. There was a bunch a really deep water holes that we swam in ALL weekend long! We all had a blast. Here are some pictures from our trip.

You can't tell from this picture but this water hole was about 11 feet deep!

Saddleback Church - My Honest Opinion

2009-03-13T16:42:00.000-07:00

I am currently enrolled in a Christian Life, Faith, and Ministry class at APU. And instead of just sitting in class and being lectured we go out and get "field" experience by serving others and visiting different types churches. On our last field trip we started our day off by going to poverty stricken skid row and spending time with the homeless that lived there. Then we ended our day by going to the extremely wealthy Saddleback Church for their evening service. Interestingly enough they both left me feelings of anger and frustration. Surprisingly, I felt this way after them both for the same exact reasons. They left me with questions of: "How can so many people not have enough, while others have way more than they could possibly ever need? How can Christians get so caught up in worldly possessions when there are God’s children that are starving everyday?"

Skid row was a very interesting and great experience. But the title of this blog is not "Skid Row - My Honest Opinion", it is all about the big and the bold Saddleback Church. With that said I will move on.

I actually enjoyed the service at Saddleback for the most part. The worship was good, and Rick Warrens sermon was interesting and had some good points. But even with the thirty piece worship band and the entertaining sermon, Saddleback would never be a church that I could be a member of. There are two main reasons for this:

1. It is a completely me-centered and feel good type of Christianity. That is just something that I completely disagree with.

2. They are just to wasteful and to over the top fancy for my conscience.

My first point is that I believe that Saddleback Church is a me-centered and feel good type of church. What I mean by this, is that they appeal to the masses by entertaining them and telling them scripture that makes them feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside, but never seems to really go much deeper than that. They’re the type of church that you could go to for a year without anyone actually knowing your name. The first thing that really frustrated me was that I didn’t get greeted by a single person the multiple times that I walked in and out of the front door. Secondly, I felt that the meet and greet time was so short that I didn’t actually have time to meet anyone! I don’t understand why churches have a meet and greet time that only lasts for two minutes! What is the point!? To me it feels like a race to see how many people’s hand I can shake before they call time. There is no way any real connection can be made in such a short amount of time. Thirdly, I was also extremely frustrated by the fact that the worship screens with the words to the worship songs on them, had the background of a fancy music video of the worship band that was currently singing on the stage. Plus the lyrics were really small at the bottom so it was a pain to read! It was so distracting and really made the whole experience feel like it was about the band instead of worshipping God. Worship seemed like just another form of entertainment.

Another reason that I think they are just a feel good type of church is their sermons. They ask the question “What can God do for me?” instead of “What can I do better to serve God?”. The sermon was interesting and really moving, but it was also really shallow. There was no purpose to it, beside the betterment of myself. I am sorry, but I don’t go to church to learn what I could read in a self-help book. Also I did not like how Rick Warren used ten different versions of the Bible throughout his sermon. It felt like he was just fishing around for a verse that would fit his sermon, regardless of the context. Instead of starting with scripture and working his way out. He started with his own idea, then searched in every Bible version possible to prove his point. Thus having to use ten different versions of the Bible in one sermon.

The second and main thing that really frustrated me about Saddleback is that they are very consumeristic and wasteful in my perspective. I believe that Jesus called Christians to live a simple life. I am not saying that everyone has to be poor by any means, but I think that most people genuinely believe that they ‘need’ a lot more then they actually do. One of my favorite verses in the bible is “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress"- James 1:27a. I truly believe that this is what we are called to with our lives as Christians. Our goal is not to be rich or have the best youth center, but to love and care for those who are in need. I am not saying that everyone has to go out and be a missionary. This type of lifestyle looks completely different for everyone. But I do believe it is an essential part of being a Christian. I think Saddleback church with all of its wealth has such great potential, to do so many great things in the world, but they are wasting it on aquariums, beach volley ball courts, and waterfalls. I know they do a lot of things for others and have missions trips that go all over the world. But I just simply don’t think it is enough. I did a little research and with the money that they spent on just their children’s center and their youth center, they could have created two hundred wells in Africa that would have given around two million people clean drinking water. But instead Saddleback has an aquarium for their kids to walk around and look at. All the while, kids in Africa are dying because they simply don’t have water to drink. It just doesn’t seem right to me.

A couple of the arguments for Saddleback church are the following:

1. People talk about the fruits of Jesus and John and how they both went about things so differently, but were still fruitful, despite their major differences. And this was brought up about Saddleback. Yes, they are a little wasteful and over the top, but look at all the people that come. Look at their fruit. They must be doing something right.

Well, I disagree. I think that, that kind of thinking is a justification for wanting to have a lot of things. I strongly believe that if all the glitz and glamour would be taken away, then so would most of the congregation of Saddleback.

2. The church is in Orange County and that is just how people in Orange County are. They are just trying to reach their community.

I think that is also a terrible argument and a complete cop-out. I believe that they are just giving into their surroundings instead of trying to change them. They are just teaching and reinforcing the over-consumeristic lifestyle of the people in their congregation. They are saying, 'Don't worry, having five cars and three houses it is okay... just as long as you tithe to the church, you are fine.' I just completely disagree with that kind of thinking. Jesus calls us to a life that is lived in a different way then the way the world is living it.

With all that is said, I really did enjoy going to Saddleback church and skid row. It just seems so contradictory to have such poverty and such wealth only two hours away from each other. Once there is no more poverty in the world (like that would happen), then maybe, just maybe, I would be okay with all of Saddlebacks luxuries. But until then, I think they could be using their money for much better things.

"Sorry, I have been really busy..."

2009-01-16T17:47:00.000-08:00

"Sorry, I have just been really busy lately."

"Well, between school, work, church, and being newly married I don't really find much time for hobbies anymore."

"Sorry I just can't, I am just so tired and so busy, I just want to hang out at home and go to bed early."

If you haven't noticed, I have been MIA in blog scene lately. Those sentences above are all sentences that have been coming out of my mouth more often then they should. I feel like all I say is sorry I just can't, sorry we are busy, sorry I am just to tired, sorry life is just too crazy right now. It is really frustrating to me. Really frustrating to be so busy and so tired, that I can't do, hardly anything that I want to. Don't get me wrong, I do have free time, but when I do, I am just plain tired.

School has started up again and this is going to be a tough semester. I was blessed enough last semester not to have to work while being in school. But this semester, that is not the case. I am now working 15 hours a week as nanny. The really tiring part is that my day starts at 6am Monday-Friday. Which for those of you that don't know this about me, I hate any hour in the morning that is before 9am. Besides work, I am also taking six classes (18 units) this semester. Then of course there is just everyday errands, housecleaning, laundry, etc.

This semester is tough for me because I am a naturally very social person, and this semester is leaving me with very little time for fun social engagements. Plus the free time that I do have does not tend to overlap with Matt's free time, except for on weekends. But then on the weekends, we have gotten so behind on the daily chores that we spend the weekend just catching up. Aaah! I could rant about this forever.

So, for this post I do not have some fantastic life altering conclusion, except that I can not wait until school over. And in the meantime, I am just going to have to figure out how to adjust to this temporary time in my life.

House Christmas Pics

2008-12-19T17:12:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures of our Christmas home.

This decoration was hand made by an old man that goes to Matt's dads church, whom joined the family for Thanksgiving dinner.

THANKSGIVING!!!

2008-12-12T20:40:00.000-08:00

Matt and I were able to spend Thanksgiving this year in Oklahoma. It was my first holiday as a Bohannon, and the first one with the Bohannon family! Although it was a REALLY quick trip, we had a blast! It was wonderful to be able to spend time with family. Here are a couple of pictures from our trip.

These are the beautiful trees in Jerry's backyard. Being an LA girl it is always wonderful seeing trees that actually change into fall colors.

Matt and Toni (his mom)

Matt and Jerry (his dad)

Matt and I sledding in the Oklahoma city baseball field!

Kind of bragging...

2008-09-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

This may be bragging, but I don't care I am excited. I just got back one of my exams from last week and I single handedly received the highest score in the entire class! Plus, since my teacher grades on a curve, he starts the "A" at the highest score. And since that high score was mine, I received 100% on my exam! So pretty cool and it just made my day. Although I have a strong feeling that I will not be so happy tomorrow and Friday when I receive the other exams back. So I will revel in my happiness right now to prepare for the unhappiness that I will be feeling later this week. :-)

Home Pictures

2008-09-29T16:24:00.001-07:00

For those of you that don't live near by, here are a couple of pictures of our living room and our new scooter!

Ahhh...a new week.

2008-09-29T15:10:00.001-07:00

Last week was a very eventful and stressful week. On the eventful end, Matt and I sold my car and have become a one car family. The selling of the car process was pretty stressful and tiring. Nowadays there are a lot of ways people can screw you over and pretend to give you money, then take it back. So, after much time spent on the phone talking to banks, we figured out the proper way to receive a large some of money without it bouncing. Now the fun part, Matt and I bought a really cute scooter to putz around town on. (I say putz cause the max speed is only 40 mph.) I have calculated it out and itt will be saving us about $100 a month on gas! (Which is pretty awesome!) Plus, it is super fun to ride around on. **Mom Disclaimer - Yes we wear helmets, yes we are careful, and no we don't go fast.**

During all this car chaos and excitement, I also had four exams last week. One on Thursday and a whopping total of three on Friday. It was awful, absolutely miserable. Last week was probably the hardest and most stressful weeks that I have had in a really long time. Since the car was not sold until Wednesday, it took up a lot of time the three days prior to do stuff for it. So I did not feel like I had the proper time to really study for the hard things like Biology and Neuroanatomy of the brain. (Plus I was PMS'ing the worst I ever have.) Anyways, I was a complete wreck, to say the least, and by the beginning of third exam on Friday I almost broke. I had to try my hardest to not break down and start sobbing. With some a lot of breathing and rubbing of my eyes I manage to control it. I feel like I barely made it through last week. It took me the whole weekend to not even fully recover from my stressful and emotionally/mentally draining week.

BUT I have recovered and have had a really good start to my week. Matt joined me for chapel today at school, I went for a scooter ride around, and am now finding the quiet time to blog. So all is now well on Bohannon side of town.

2008-09-10T17:07:00.000-07:00

As of today, I have been in school for exactly a week. And man, am I tired. It has definitely taken some major adjustments in my lifestyle. I went from vacation/honeymoon mode to sitting in a classroom for 20hrs a week. It is an interesting place that I find myself in right now. Between school, homework, housework, being a wife, and finding time for peace and relaxation. It is definitely an adjustment. I don't really know, it is just a completely new phase in my life and I am excited about seeing where it leads. I am pretty sure this semester is going to be an adventure.

APU is going well though. I have already started making some friends (guess its not as hard as I thought). Although I do have to say that freshman are like whole other kind of college student. And there are definitely some upperclassmen that I am not sure how they manage to survive in the real world. (Let alone get accepted to a university!)

I do have one story to tell. I managed to look like a complete idiot on my first day of Biology class. My Professor had everyone go around and say their name, year, and the last science class that they took. As the students are talking before me, I am of course practicing in my head what I am going say so I can be cool and calm. Then this happens,

"Hi, My name is Manya. I am a transfer student and in my Junior year. The last science class I took was my freshman year of college and it was Weather and Climate." This gets a weird look from my teacher, so caught of guard I stammer/speak kinda loudly and explain, "Well, I HATE science so I took the class that was the farthest away from science as possible!" My teacher just gave me a "ok?" look and moves on to the next student. Of course once I blurted out that I hated science the whole class starts laughing and turns around to see the dumb girl that just told the professor that she hated the class she was taking.

Just another example of how I really need to try harder to think before I speak. Hope it made you laugh.

(Sorry this post is kind of all over the place, I think my brain had turned off.)

First Day School!

2008-09-03T08:25:00.000-07:00

Well, the day has finally come; today is my first day of classes at APU! It is so weird to actually be here as an undergraduate Psychology student. Since I have have been thinking and dreaming about this for so long, it brought up a lot of nerves as the day got closer. Last night was a little rough as I had a little stress melt down, but thankfully I have a wonderful and sweet husband who knows exactly how to cheer me up.

I feel like because I have wanted to come here for the past three years, I have put a lot of pressure on myself to fulfill my expectations for my new college life. Of course since I am only human I constantly fail at the expectations that I have for myself. With that being said, I really had a lot of fears starting school today. What if I don't fit in? What if I don't make friends? What if school is to hard for me? What if I am not smart enough and I fail all of my classes? What if I am not good enough for APU? As irrational as some of these thoughts may seem to you, they are real feelings that I was (and to some point still am) having.

I woke up at at 6:00am today so I could get to campus early, pick up my ID card and wander around to hopefully get comfortable with the campus. I now find myself sitting in the library using their wonderful internet and calming my emotions. After being on campus a little I do find that I am getting a little more comfortable here (of course I am sitting in the corner not talking to anyone except my computer :D). I am trying to be hopeful and optimistic about today. I am sure it will go better than I expect it to. (I mean, I have not spilled coffee on my white skirt yet, so thats a good sign!)

Soon I will walk over to my friends office who is a professor here and walk over to chapel with him. Then off to classes! I am taking 16 units and will be at school everyday M-F. But here is what my schedule looks like today:

9:30-10:30 - Chapel

10:40-11:35 - Psychology of Personality

11:50-12:45 - Fundamentals of Biology

1:00-1:55 - Cognition (Psychology of the Brain)

Well wish me luck! I will update after my first week is over!

...never ending tears...

2008-07-22T01:56:00.001-07:00

It appears I have not posted since my initial, and to be honest, I was never quite sure what to right. I never feel like my thoughts are important enough for other people to read. But tonight I will share my feelings.

I guess I will start from the beginning. My friend had highly recommended the movie "P.S. I Love You" to me, with the warning that it was a tear jerker. Well ten minutes in I was crying, I mean crying. I cried throughout the entire movie, and once it ended I couldn't stop sobbing. I sobbed for a good hour and half afterwards. I know you must think I am crazy, but that movie really hit home with me.

In this movie, Hilary Swank plays a woman whose father left her when she 14, and she marries a man at the young age of 19 and her entire marriage to him, she is scared that he will leave just like her father. Well after ten years, he dies. (Don't worry the movie is not spoiled.) I guess that point that really hit me, he still left her. Even though it wasn't his choice he still left her alone. Whether he walked out the door and never came back, or his life ended. For the second time in her life she was still suddenly abandoned by another man that she loved.

This concept, idea, and feeling really tore me up. As some of you may know (if anyone is even reading this) my grandpa died almost two years ago. Well, that really messed me up in mores way than I even realize. I lived with my grandpa for about twelve years and never lived my own father. So... naturally he became the stable father figure that I always needed, wanted, and looked upon. (Don't get me wrong my dad never abandoned me so to speak, but we have never really saw eye to eye and gotten along very well.) My grandpa was the only man at that time that I felt really understood me. No matter what he was always excited hear about my day and the new crazy things I was doing. I would go and sit with him and share stories, sometimes for only mere minutes, but sometimes for hours. I really loved and respected him. He always looked out for his family no matter what, and I really appreciated that about him. He was the solid ground that all my siblings could count on. No matter what you always knew where to find him.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that I feel like I have recognized that to late. I know in my heart that my Grandpa knew how much I loved him and I have peace about that. But I don't think he knew how much of a vital role he played in the shaping of my life. I really looked up to him as a father, and I did not even realize it until after he had gone. So I guess, it just breaks my heart to think that he didn't fully know how important he was. I wish I had cherished my time with him more. I wish that instead of being annoyed, at times, at how needy he had become, I really enjoyed taking care him. All I wish for now is just, to wheel him into his room late at night before bed because he had gotten to weak to walk there. Or hear him say, "Bah-humbug" on Christmas morning. I just long to smell his old person smell and hear him say "Good night darling, I love you" one more time. Hearing him say goodnight and I love you was the best part of going to bed. It was the same routine every night and the same words every night, "Good night Grandpa", "Good night darling", "I love you", "I love you too". Every time he said it, I could really hear his love, pride, appreciation.

So maybe he did know how important he was. Maybe just cause I realized it to late, he didn't. I do believe in my heart that he was and would be proud of me. And only left our family cause he finally knew that everyone had grown up and was going to be alright. He knew he didn't need to take care of us anymore, so at the ripe age of 89 he finally rested in peace.

2007-10-16T10:48:00.000-07:00

Well, after not being allowed to be in the "Bloggers on the Bed" club, I have decided to try this blogging thing. I am sorry if I bore you with my thoughts...